there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
