He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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