I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize