I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
