i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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