So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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