Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
