Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
