Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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