Someone shit on the floor
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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