you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
