my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
