Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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