note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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