This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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