Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize