we're blogging at a bar
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
