I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
