I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You are a genius and a whore.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize