Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
soo... how was my night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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