I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
