while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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