So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
