Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
