i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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