i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
