with your own penis?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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