of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
