Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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