Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
