Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
