Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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