she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
