I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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