I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wear drunk well.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
