If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
