The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize