I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
