just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
