Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
