all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
