Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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