my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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