my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
COCAINE IS GR8
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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