JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
