You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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