It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
