Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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