I've blown a few things in my day
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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