You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
