at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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