It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
