I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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