I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
