K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
