wanna go halves on a baby?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
