you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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