I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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