my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
