didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
